N a m e s 4 t h i n g s

Names 4 Things I Cannot Ever Hope To Do

names4things — Sun, 19 Jul 2009 19:24:52 +0000

One of the things I cannot do are nunchucks. Nunchucks are just 2 sticks tied together with a rope or chain, and even though they are Vietnamese martial arts tools, they look kind of benign. Still, I cannot be left alone in a room with them (because they call me), and if you ever really wanted me hurt, just hand some to me and watch your hilarity ensue. That is if you think it’s funny watching someone accidentally whip their own ass very quickly.

Since that’s probably not going to happen, watch Bruce Lee playing ping pong with nunchucks.

I know!

I Like This

names4things — Sun, 12 Jul 2009 07:27:52 +0000

For people all over the world to note the passing of a phenomenal artist, is a good thing. These two performances, one at Segels Torg and the Central Station (a third installment was also planned to happen at Stureplan) were in Stockholm.

The dance collective Bounce came up with the idea and invited the public to a short choreographed session before performing it. Nice!

Thanks, Michael Jackson. You gave way more than you brought with you.

A ‘Say Something Nice Challenge’ Winner

names4things — Mon, 06 Jul 2009 15:12:04 +0000

Fresh, of Crunk + Disorderly, is one of the funniest black gossip bloggers out there, and one of her tags is the ‘Say Something Nice Challenge’.

With all respect to Fresh, Names4things is going to have to declare a winner.

[drum roll] The winner is… ABC! Yes! Congratulations!

ABC just reported that the white serial-killing South Carolinian responsible for five murders (so far), is described as “polite” and an “average person”, by people who have had the pleasure of his company.

Can you believe it? I’ve always thought it both impolite and abnormal to be a serial killer.

But then, I’m still waiting for a black person accused of a crime, to be described in such glowing terms by mainstream media. Yeah, I’m being careful. I’m not holding my breath.

Comix

names4things — Fri, 03 Jul 2009 17:18:43 +0000

I was looking at a post that sent me to a site called Comics With Problems. Interesting stuff.

From Boing Boing

Noteworthy

names4things — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 21:50:42 +0000

Haaretz’ Shulamit Aloni, on how Israel is controlled by religious fanaticism.

See? They’re just like us!

Wonderful photographs at The Big Picture.

Primary Care Physicians who treat black people, just don’t have enough jam to do so properly.

So, none of these items is particularly new, but then, neither am I.

Invisible Resistance

names4things — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 21:06:32 +0000

According to the great aggregater Arbroath,

The [surveillance] footage shows Holloway waiting outside Lawrence’s restaurant in Passaic [New Jersey] when a police cruiser pulls up and a female officer asks Holloway to zip up his sweatshirt. Holloway appears to comply, but in an instant, Officer Joseph Rios III jumps out and starts beating him.

Well, damn. The beaten Ronnie Holloway is on medication for mental illness. What’s Officer Joseph Rios III’s excuse for not taking his? Mr. Holloway was arrested and charged with resisting arrest. That’s the invisible part, the “resisting arrest” business. The other unseen event is where Rios’ fellow officers jump in and uphold the law, instead of just watching the maniacal Officer Jospeh Rios III go batshit on Mr Holloway, before they all agree to arrest and charge him.

Po Thang

names4things — Thu, 21 May 2009 06:20:52 +0000

I don’t think I’ve just grabbed an entire post before, but this whack fuckery from Kanye West needs to be exposed. He’s initially commenting on a rather shitty photograph of Rihanna, and then starts making those annoying ‘everything is hiphop‘ statements that will likely ultimately destroy all that is good. Here the bullshit is (he writes IN ALL CAPS, cause, well, he’s crazy and undereducated. Anyway):

FRESH ASS PICTURE!!! YO WHY CAN’T ALL PAPARAZZI PHOTOS BE THIS GOOD? WELL OBVIOUSLY BECAUSE MOST CELEBS JUST AREN’T RIHANNA LOL! … BUT ON THE REAL, THIS PIC IS HARDCORE. PEEP THE PERSPECTIVE SHOT OF THE CITY IN THE BACK. SOMETIMES THE PAPS OVEREXPOSE THE LENS OR HAVE THE FLASH TOO HIGH TAKING ALL THE EMOTION OUT OF THE MOMENT. THIS MOMENT IS CAPTURED IN TIME NOW. I LOOK AT OUR CURRENT SUPERSTARS LIKE LEGENDS IN THE MAKING… LIKE JUSTIN IS THE NEW MIKE , BEYONCE’S THE NEW TINA TURNER, GAGA’S MADONNA, JAY IS SINATRA… WAYNE IS HENDRIX, THOM YORKE IS ROGER WATERS, THESE ARE THE CHAMPIONS AND SHOULD BE DOCUMENTED AS SUCH. THAT SAID, IT WOULD BE DOPE IF THE PAPS OPERATED WITH THE SAME INTEGRITY AND ATTENTION TO THEIR CRAFT AS THE LEGENDS THEY PHOTOGRAPH….. GOOD JOB ON THIS ONE!

Comparing Lil Wayne to Jimi Hendrix is sacrilegious. But then so is the rest of this nonsense. If any of the current superstars he named were even in the same league with the people he compared them to, the genuine talents wouldn’t need to be mentioned.

Hey. I wonder if Sinatra used to rip off his servers for their tips, like Jay Z did in his restaurant? Nah, I don’t. I was just heading off to bed, and realized that once again someone had written some stupid wrong shit on the internets. You’re welcome.

White House Correspondents’ Dinner

names4things — Sun, 10 May 2009 22:46:34 +0000

I’m not a fan of posts that have a lotta youtubes, but this is kind of necessary. Bear with me, reader, please.

I don’t always agree with our President, but I get his humor. Do you?

There’s some overlap from part I, but worth a peep nonetheless.

Here’s Part II:

Names4things think he’s FUNny. But then our favorite out lesbian comedian Wanda Sykes (YAY!!!) does her j-o-b, notably toned down from her regular bits.

Here’s Part I:

And here’s Part II:

I have serious ish with the annual correspondents’ dinner, though. The country’s leaders are supposed to have a relationship with the press that is untarnished by mutual dicksucking. As it is, we can’t even tell them apart with all the happy-cum-lucky splooge drippin’ down all their smiley faces. Still, it pales in comparison to Bush’s appearance at the same annual event during his regime, which brought his brand of funny with shit that should land him a spot in Leavenworth– or Old Sparky . But then, our land of sheeple and their approval of our ever-diminishing rights is likely going to keep that supersized anal bead out of anything but pounds of paper money.

That brings up the real good reason to not have unconditional love for President Obama: his über conciliatory stance toward anything that’s already happened. C’mon, ‘bama! Must we ultimately look to you for why Bush and his fellow seditionists, why they will not be charged for war crimes? How about Bush’s decimation of the constitution, and his severely under-discussed 2000 coup d’ etat? Indict those dingleberries, tout de suite, s’il vous plait.

But hey- at least President Obama is making sure that bailing out banks, corporations, and other American institutions of fuckery over our fellow citizens, is Job One, right? That the rest of us have been remanded to job insecurity, poverty, homelessness and hopelessness does not say HOPE to this spelling bee champion. And don’t get me started on the Ivy appointments. If you haven’t graduated from Harvard, Yale, Princeton, Columbia, or any of those other bastions of bullshit, our President doesn’t even want to see your resume. Never mind that Ivy grads are notorious for malignant narcissism and disconnection to the people they invariably hold sway over. An even bigger never mind is that David Plouffe, who engineered Obama’s astoundingly brilliant campaign, does not have a college degree from anywhere. Roh?!?! Si si, mi amigas.

I hate to be disappointed. But the sad fact of most humans, is that they can get used to just about anything. Gil Scott Heron says it’s because nobody knows what to say. I’d counter that no one knows how to see. Or listen.

Oh well.

In Good Company

names4things — Wed, 06 May 2009 13:32:02 +0000

Siditty, an eloquent, inquisitive, and frequently touching blogger, has nominated Names4things for a Noblesse Oblige blog award. She writes in reference to yours truly that,

This blog is awesome. This blog is the devil’s advocate blog for me. Genius. Always taking it where people don’t think to go.

If that’s not something nice and totally unexpected, I don’t know what is. Accordingly, I am to post the criteria for winning this award:

1. The Blogger manifests exemplary attitude, respecting the nuances that pervades amongst different cultures and beliefs.

2. The Blog contents inspire; strives to encourage and offers solutions.

3. There is a clear purpose at the Blog; one that fosters a better understanding on Social, Political, Economic, the Arts, Culture and Sciences and Beliefs.

4. The Blog is refreshing and creative.

5. The Blogger promotes friendship and positive thinking.

THE RULES:

The Blogger who receives this award will need to perform the following steps:

Create a Post with a mention and link to the person who presented the Noblesse Oblige Award.

The Award Conditions must be displayed at the Post.

Write a short article about what the Blog has thus far achieved – preferably citing one or more older post to support.

The Blogger must present the Noblesse Oblige Award in concurrence with the Award conditions.

Okay. Firstly, Names4things’ attitude is the shit. This is not slang– my attitude is actually rather shitty. Inspiration and problem-solving are indeed goals, but are admittedly secondary to the need to splooge opinion. In other words, really?

I can honestly state that if I found other like-minded types who would express my opinion on a semi-regular basis, I would probably not feel the need to do so. And as I’ve demonstrated, when analog life intrudes, as it did for the first part of the year, I have more pressing things to do. Otherwise? My door is not being beat down, despite Siditty’s and my own treacherously high opinion of my musings.

In service of the last directive, I’d like to direct my reader to my Exclusive Interview With Monster’s Vagina, as an example of the type of shitty goodness brought forth by this blog. Aside from the porn aficionados who clicked on Fuck Moms! (which is actually a screedette against legislation for psychotropic drugs for the mommy condition), and Alaskan Governor’s Baby May Be Her Grandchild, it is my top post. Note to blogger wannabes: posts that use porny titles will be hit.

In conclusion, even though we’re all going to die, we’re alive right now. And that counts, until it doesn’t.

Thanks, Siditty!

A Badge And A Dream

names4things — Wed, 06 May 2009 11:34:28 +0000

Uniformed pigs are shaking down black and brown motorists hard in East Texas. And by hard I mean they threaten to take away their children, in addition to taking their money and jewelry.

This is neither new or unusual to N4t, having been officially robbed in South Carolina, Arizona, and New York City. All it takes is a badge and a dream, after all.

In New York City, the Marshalls have the right to take your car out from under you, if they deem your parking tickets have exceeded $150. Trouble is, that can mean you have one ticket.

In the rest of the country, the highway robbers police just take you, your money, and in Tenaha, Texas, even your children. As much hateration as is directed toward the baby boomers, many tried to resist the police state. Now? not so much.